Looking for a job, preferably something that doesn’t require much thought. ..Contact me below if you have any relevant information.
Office - 860-826-3303
Home - (860) 225-1575
25 S High St, New Britain, CT 06051
Thanks.

Looking for a job, preferably something that doesn’t require much thought. ..Contact me below if you have any relevant information.

Office - 860-826-3303

Home - (860) 225-1575

25 S High St, New Britain, CT 06051

Thanks.

JOHN WILKINSON: I’m Running For President

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By John Wilkinson, DEBASER politics and pizza delivery correspondent

21ST SENDING TODAY  (“Added 1”, Rick…..for -you-)

NOW, for military personel. some people have their entire life “tied up” in Career service (My Own Pap was career USAF and retired as MasterSgt. w/ 21 years service).  For those (with “Pride”) who are not “deep” into the process -it’s on them, but….-
it seems to me that it is “more honorable” to GET OUT of the US Military ——these days—— than to “stay” in.  The Pentagon released one statement that “word-for-word”  says: “The (new) policy is about adherence to orders and behavior, and not about beliefs”. The Pentagon also references that “Recruiters” who can not follow the new procedure may be “considered for another assignment and, at the discretion of the Navy Secretary, may be granted early discharge…”.  Tell you what, “at discretion” THEY Can better ‘define’.  Do they mean that “partial retirement” pkgs will be granted?  This SHOULD be a CASE for one Humongous “Class Action” law suite. I mean, isn’t it Fair….if someone is in the Service for such and such amount of years with eye on “20 year” retirement and “this Bubble” pops up (out-of-no-where) -shouldn’t- the persons be granted a “partial retirement pkg”??? Seems only “Fair” to me.  Wasn’t the United States FOUNDED on the principle of —FAIRNESS—???????? The “Spirit of Co-opperation” and that all people are to be given their Dignity?  Remember the long ago slogan of how “bad company ruins good character”?  Is not that statement a —backbone— sort of statement just as the Week has seven named days (Mon., Tues., Wed., Thur., Fri., Sat., Sun.).  How did OUR NATION ever get “Collared” into going this DIRECTION. Oh, I know how(    :  Of Course! Thank our B.O. President, “Mr. P.U.”

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LETTER TO THE EDITOR

Prolific tweeter and pizza delivery specialist John Wilkinson.

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The DEBASER had a letter published in this week’s edition of the Hartford Advocate. Our jabs at other winners in their Best of Poll was lifted to accommodate the paper’s  Alternative Weekly Friend Zone requirements. Also not in the original letter is documented evidence that the state capitol’s Republican senate press intern Brett Cody obsesses off the record to reporters about how he waxes his chest every Friday night.

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From hartfordcourant:

"Geee guys, I didn’t mean any harm, really. I just found some mushrooms one day, ate them, started sounding really convincing to a flock of uneducated people and they began worshiping me. It’s a lot of pressure. I can’t believe a carpenter like me is going to be nailed to a piece of wood for this. This is some hood shit."

From hartfordcourant:

"Geee guys, I didn’t mean any harm, really. I just found some mushrooms one day, ate them, started sounding really convincing to a flock of uneducated people and they began worshiping me. It’s a lot of pressure. I can’t believe a carpenter like me is going to be nailed to a piece of wood for this. This is some hood shit."

ULTRA INDEPENDENT, HATE BLOG/SITE/NEWSPAPER the DEBASER WINS THIRD PLACE FOR BEST TWITTER IN HARTFORD ADVOCATE’S READER POLL
Thank you everyone for voting for us. We should have still gotten best blog. A big fuck you goes out to Colin McEnroe, who got third place for best blog, and to the Needle Drop’s Anthony Fantano, who didn’t win shit. We also hate Chris Murphy for thinking he’s a progressive candidate for Senate and for always looking like an intern on the campaign trail. Him and Shelly Sindland should get it on. Shout out to the DEBASER’s Rick Schlamper, Connecticut’s funniest and sleaziest person to use the Internet. Also to our drug dealer, who allows us to tweet into 4 AM. This one is for Pat Reckgee, who is nowhere to be found and is probably spawled out on some hooker’s floor deep inside a drug coma. We hate you.
 - DEBASER staff
Free Oliva Max!

ULTRA INDEPENDENT, HATE BLOG/SITE/NEWSPAPER the DEBASER WINS THIRD PLACE FOR BEST TWITTER IN HARTFORD ADVOCATE’S READER POLL

Thank you everyone for voting for us. We should have still gotten best blog. A big fuck you goes out to Colin McEnroe, who got third place for best blog, and to the Needle Drop’s Anthony Fantano, who didn’t win shit. We also hate Chris Murphy for thinking he’s a progressive candidate for Senate and for always looking like an intern on the campaign trail. Him and Shelly Sindland should get it on. Shout out to the DEBASER’s Rick Schlamper, Connecticut’s funniest and sleaziest person to use the Internet. Also to our drug dealer, who allows us to tweet into 4 AM. This one is for Pat Reckgee, who is nowhere to be found and is probably spawled out on some hooker’s floor deep inside a drug coma. We hate you.

 - DEBASER staff


Free Oliva Max!

The DEBASER is proud to announce that it’s very own music critic, Chuck Salter, a washed up DJ with a chip on his shoulder, is having his articles run in the Buffalo Beast, a supremely bad ass newspaper-turned-website that was recently responsible for posing as billionaire dickhead David Koch and getting on the phone with Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker. Ian Murphy, the man responsible for the stunt, is currently capitalizing on all his exposure and running for Congress on the Green Party ticket. The Beast was started in 2002 after Rolling Stone’s Matt Taibbi returned from Russia, where he was editing the notorious eXile newspaper.

The DEBASER is proud to announce that it’s very own music critic, Chuck Salter, a washed up DJ with a chip on his shoulder, is having his articles run in the Buffalo Beast, a supremely bad ass newspaper-turned-website that was recently responsible for posing as billionaire dickhead David Koch and getting on the phone with Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker. Ian Murphy, the man responsible for the stunt, is currently capitalizing on all his exposure and running for Congress on the Green Party ticket. The Beast was started in 2002 after Rolling Stone’s Matt Taibbi returned from Russia, where he was editing the notorious eXile newspaper.

HELEN “I’ll Tweet Your Mother’s Funeral” UBINAS: SERIAL TWITTER ABUSER

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By Wally Slotz

Few things make me wanna blow shit up in the morning like seeing a rash of Tweets from deep inside the Cheshire trial, where an agonizing string of words by the Hartford Courant’s Helen Ubinas can quickly ruin your day . I’ve had enough. Today I’m starting a group on Facebook called “Get Helen Ubinas Off Twitter Now.” For those who don’t know Ubinas, she’s a righteous columnist who blesses us with 500-word articles about street signs every now and then.

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UConn is full of flamers.

 -The championship celebration videos you can get nowhere but the DEBASER.

—View Richard Schlamper’s YouTube channel for more right here.

hartfordcourant:

Democrat Tim O’Brien, an assemblyman representing Conn.’s 24th district, brought his 11-month-old daughter, Olivia, to the state Capitol in Hartford as lawmakers reconvened last week for a new session. Photo by John Woike.


"Can you believe it? Someone had sex with me, and I made a kid! This is incredible!”

hartfordcourant:

Democrat Tim O’Brien, an assemblyman representing Conn.’s 24th district, brought his 11-month-old daughter, Olivia, to the state Capitol in Hartford as lawmakers reconvened last week for a new session. Photo by John Woike.

"Can you believe it? Someone had sex with me, and I made a kid! This is incredible!

BREAKING NEWS: WE KNOW WHAT NEW BRITAIN MAYOR TIM STEWART IS GOING TO DO, AND WE’RE NOT TELLING

_________________


NEW BRITAIN — Stringers for the DEBASER, an up-to-the-minute bitch smacking machine with an emphasis on making Rep. Chris Murphy’s life a living Hell, has learned whether New Britain Mayor Timothy Stewart will run for re-election this fall.

In a secret meeting Monday night, privileged political elite decided the fate of the New Britain Republican. An announcement will come April 19, during a press conference projected off the sun and reflecting down upon the entire World Wide Web.

Rick Schlamper, the greatest thing to happen to Twitter since Charlie Sheen and a well known alcoholic, will be live Tweeting it. Then, he’ll die and everyone will know it’s the end of the world as we know it.

Details to come soon…

Why Dr. Dre’s Long Awaited “Detox” Album Will Be the Flop of the Decade

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By Chuck Salter, DEBASER music correspondent


Dr. Dre’s mega-hyped final solo album, “Detox,” is going to piss off a lot of people, record executives and hip-hop illiterati not being one of them. Trust me, my opinion matters here, because I’ve been following the rumors and news of this album since Dre started talking about it over ten years ago. I also spent a good five years of my life exclusively listening to Dr. Dre and G-Funk music and talking shit on west coast rap message boards.

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BREAKING NEWS: DEBASER Staff Locates Escaped Snake, One Dead
WIRE — Our staff has found the Venomous Egyptian Viper Snake that escaped from the Bronx Zoo earlier today. The world has nothing to worry about any longer, as all is better with the world now because our very own Dr. Kenneth Lipshitz died due to multiple snake bites to the scrotum and anus. He will not be missed by many since he does nothing.
You can follow the deadly Bronx Zoo Cobra Snake as it slays the planet on Twitter @BronxZoosCobra.
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In other news, we are now hiring writers. Email us at thedebaseronline@gmail.com

BREAKING NEWS: DEBASER Staff Locates Escaped Snake, One Dead

WIRE — Our staff has found the Venomous Egyptian Viper Snake that escaped from the Bronx Zoo earlier today. The world has nothing to worry about any longer, as all is better with the world now because our very own Dr. Kenneth Lipshitz died due to multiple snake bites to the scrotum and anus. He will not be missed by many since he does nothing.

You can follow the deadly Bronx Zoo Cobra Snake as it slays the planet on Twitter @BronxZoosCobra.

                                   # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # #

In other news, we are now hiring writers. Email us at thedebaseronline@gmail.com

Fantastic Italian documentary with Matt Taibbi that talks about how Wall Street gambling and shity lending fanned out to the International Community.

Goodbye to NFL, Goodbye to the Trashy Industries it Supports too


By RICHARD SCHLAMPER, DEBASER business columnist

If you were cool enough to read my last article about how both the UFL and college football should benefit from the NFL lockout, you may enjoy this.

As we know, NFL players make tons of money, as do the owners, commissioners, manager, commanders, dictators, and what ever other position they might have. Now since they won’t be playing any football this coming Fall/Winter, there is a ton of money that will not be made by many people. But when some people don’t make money, usually someone else makes that money. This reminds me of one of my favorite quotes, which comes from Alex Gerchik on the first season of my favorite show, “Wall Street Warriors.”

“If you made money today, somebody else lost it.”

In this article, we will look at just who the winners and losers are of the lockout.


*WINNERS*


Football Players: Now they can just sit on their money and do ABSOLUTELY nothing for however long the lockout goes on for.

Strip clubs: Football players love women, and they love strip clubs. Now they will have so much more time for breakfast at the Gentlemen’s Club. Also, if Jets season ticket holders have no games to go to, they sure as hell are taking it to GIRLS GIRLS GIRLS every Sunday. If any of you read this, tell Matt Guy I said hi, he’s there anyway.

Roger Goodell- He’ll be at the strip club, too. Not all that many people will win from this, o well.

*LOSERS*


College players who declared themselves draft eligible: You left school, and no job? Sucks for you.

Johnsonville Brats: There’s little reason to buy 10 pounds of meat if you don’t have a parking lot to cook it in.

All beer producers that charge less than $20 for a 30 rack: There is little reason to buy such shitty beer in large quantities unless you write for the DEBASER or go to UConn.

People who rent port-a-potties: There’s no reason to have 500 turd buckets with doors in a parking lot if there’s no one with the Brat and Brew shits to blow it up.

Coleman: Why stock up on camping accessories if you have no parking lot to enjoy them in?

People who charge you $35 to park in their front yard: There’s no need to park in someone’s front yard if there’s nothing to go to.

The makers of Cornhole-: No 7 year old will be putting his beanbags in your corn hole this fall.

Porn sites: If you can see Devin Hester get hit from behind, we’ll have to go to the next best option… Jenna Haze getting hit from behind.

Richard Schlamper loves trading stocks and verbally degrading you over Twitter. When he’s between Scotch’s, he’s usually sticking his face between a pair of huge tits. 

Needle Drop’s Anthony Fantano Gets Quoted in Guardian Newspaper Saying He Can’t Write, Uploads Montage of Bands He Saw at SXSW on Mute

By Chuck Salter, DEBASER music critic

Sorry guys, had to take a short break from Google-mapping where the closest Urban Outfitters is in my area, as well as deciding which bands deserve to be mentioned in my next column.

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