It is with great pleasure that this blog has been taken over by Russian media conglomerates. Prepare for incoming transmissions over the next few hours comrades. 

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By John Wilkinson, DEBASER politics and pizza delivery correspondent

21ST SENDING TODAY  (“Added 1”, Rick…..for -you-)

NOW, for military personel. some people have their entire life “tied up” in Career service (My Own Pap was career USAF and retired as MasterSgt. w/ 21 years service).  For those (with “Pride”) who are not “deep” into the process -it’s on them, but….-
it seems to me that it is “more honorable” to GET OUT of the US Military ——these days—— than to “stay” in.  The Pentagon released one statement that “word-for-word”  says: “The (new) policy is about adherence to orders and behavior, and not about beliefs”. The Pentagon also references that “Recruiters” who can not follow the new procedure may be “considered for another assignment and, at the discretion of the Navy Secretary, may be granted early discharge…”.  Tell you what, “at discretion” THEY Can better ‘define’.  Do they mean that “partial retirement” pkgs will be granted?  This SHOULD be a CASE for one Humongous “Class Action” law suite. I mean, isn’t it Fair….if someone is in the Service for such and such amount of years with eye on “20 year” retirement and “this Bubble” pops up (out-of-no-where) -shouldn’t- the persons be granted a “partial retirement pkg”??? Seems only “Fair” to me.  Wasn’t the United States FOUNDED on the principle of —FAIRNESS—???????? The “Spirit of Co-opperation” and that all people are to be given their Dignity?  Remember the long ago slogan of how “bad company ruins good character”?  Is not that statement a —backbone— sort of statement just as the Week has seven named days (Mon., Tues., Wed., Thur., Fri., Sat., Sun.).  How did OUR NATION ever get “Collared” into going this DIRECTION. Oh, I know how(    :  Of Course! Thank our B.O. President, “Mr. P.U.”

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Prolific tweeter and pizza delivery specialist John Wilkinson.

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The DEBASER had a letter published in this week’s edition of the Hartford Advocate. Our jabs at other winners in their Best of Poll was lifted to accommodate the paper’s  Alternative Weekly Friend Zone requirements. Also not in the original letter is documented evidence that the state capitol’s Republican senate press intern Brett Cody obsesses off the record to reporters about how he waxes his chest every Friday night.

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From hartfordcourant:

“Geee guys, I didn’t mean any harm, really. I just found some mushrooms one day, ate them, started sounding really convincing to a flock of uneducated people and they began worshiping me. It’s a lot of pressure. I can’t believe a carpenter like me is going to be nailed to a piece of wood for this. This is some hood shit.”

ULTRA INDEPENDENT, HATE BLOG/SITE/NEWSPAPER the DEBASER WINS THIRD PLACE FOR BEST TWITTER IN HARTFORD ADVOCATE’S READER POLL

Thank you everyone for voting for us. We should have still gotten best blog. A big fuck you goes out to Colin McEnroe, who got third place for best blog, and to the Needle Drop’s Anthony Fantano, who didn’t win shit. We also hate Chris Murphy for thinking he’s a progressive candidate for Senate and for always looking like an intern on the campaign trail. Him and Shelly Sindland should get it on. Shout out to the DEBASER’s Rick Schlamper, Connecticut’s funniest and sleaziest person to use the Internet. Also to our drug dealer, who allows us to tweet into 4 AM. This one is for Pat Reckgee, who is nowhere to be found and is probably spawled out on some hooker’s floor deep inside a drug coma. We hate you.

 - DEBASER staff

Free Oliva Max!

Breaking News: DEBASER’S Chuck Salter gives legion of dormant Lindsey Buckingham groupies something to talk about over his article. Wait…this just in…Salter has just discovered that Buckingham has a solo album. Album of the year! Somebody notify the Needle Drop!!!!!!!! OMG

The DEBASER is proud to announce that it’s very own music critic, Chuck Salter, a washed up DJ with a chip on his shoulder, is having his articles run in the Buffalo Beast, a supremely bad ass newspaper-turned-website that was recently responsible for posing as billionaire dickhead David Koch and getting on the phone with Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker. Ian Murphy, the man responsible for the stunt, is currently capitalizing on all his exposure and running for Congress on the Green Party ticket. The Beast was started in 2002 after Rolling Stone’s Matt Taibbi returned from Russia, where he was editing the notorious eXile newspaper.

theneedledrop:

current desktop picture

Does the Needle Drop’s Anthony Fantano have a fetish for smacking it to little Mexican kids dressed as Super Mario?

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By Wally Slotz

Few things make me wanna blow shit up in the morning like seeing a rash of Tweets from deep inside the Cheshire trial, where an agonizing string of words by the Hartford Courant’s Helen Ubinas can quickly ruin your day . I’ve had enough. Today I’m starting a group on Facebook called “Get Helen Ubinas Off Twitter Now.” For those who don’t know Ubinas, she’s a righteous columnist who blesses us with 500-word articles about street signs every now and then.

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UConn is full of flamers.

 -The championship celebration videos you can get nowhere but the DEBASER.

—View Richard Schlamper’s YouTube channel for more right here.

hartfordcourant:

Democrat Tim O’Brien, an assemblyman representing Conn.’s 24th district, brought his 11-month-old daughter, Olivia, to the state Capitol in Hartford as lawmakers reconvened last week for a new session. Photo by John Woike.

“Can you believe it? Someone had sex with me, and I made a kid! This is incredible!”

By CHUCK SALTER, DEBASER music critic

Rob Trucks, a person who has no right getting paid to write a book about Fleetwood Mac’s “Tusk” album, totally nailed his own thesis in the first line of the first chapter: “There’s a good chance you won’t like this book. In fact, there’s a really, really good chance that you won’t like this book.”

Spot on. The only honest observation in the whole book by the author. This book is underwhelming and I regret that I bought it.

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VIA OUR DC BUREAU:

foreignknot:

It’s coming up on the end of the semester, and almost every day you get the same question as to what summer plans are. I don’t have a job solidified or an internship for that matter, so when I say I’m staying down here I tend to get a few weird looks. Why not go home?

Free laundry, my dad’s…

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By CHUCK SALTER, DEBASER music critic

I thought Radiohead was the greatest band in the world until they dropped a total dud with “The King of Limbs.” They even took a step back by releasing the world’s first universal newspaper, despite paper being more endangered and un-hip than the musical career of The Strokes.

With the Internet universally slamming the new Radiohead album, or, as Stereogum points out, people seem to be praising it laxidiasically, like “Oh, new Radiohead, right. It’s good.”

But I am mad cause the minimalist electronic direction they took didn’t go far enough! I feel shimmers of dubstep but it doesn’t cut it! I need more bass, more WUBBAWUBBAWOMP and less Thom Yorke. I’ve been riding dubstep Prince James Blake’s nuts so hard that I can’t listen to more than one song of the new Radiohead without wanting some gorestep thrown in there!

I fucking love dubstep. I actually DJ dubstep parties part-time on Monday nights. They don’t pay me, but I love throwing my fists in the air and flipping off a crowd of about 10 people while I spin. It’s a rush like no other.

I know everyone wanted “OK Computer PART 2” or a Radiohead jazz album, but they should have clearly followed the wave of dubstep to seem more hip. Maybe then the blogs would love thier new album a bit more.

Chuck Salter, a failed dubstep DJ, writes this column. Email him threats via thedebaseronline@gmail.com.